Tracing December

Susmitha Akula

Sunsets don’t owe explanations.

It's December again

It's time people remind you

How beautiful endings can be

just like all the sunsets you've seen?

But who's to tell them

Goodbyes don't always sound pretty

At times, they let you breathe freely

just to snatch it away the next moment

Who's to tell them

Not all goodbyes were goodbyes

Who's to say they were goodbyes at all?

Some were the last hugs,

last smiles,

Last favourite flowers you'd ever receive.

Last time you heard that one song,

for the next time

would make you sick to the stomach.

last time you took the longer way,

for the next time

the only company you have

is of memories that haunt

December is here again

and it brings questions

Who are the people housed in me?

I say I don't know

because I don't

As I miss the friends I stopped talking to

I realise I speak to myself more often

I realise I don't talk enough to the people I hold close

Though I long to be heard

the silence that I dwell in

is my calm and my abyss

The silence as I stare out of the window

blurs the lines between finding and losing myself

I stare at sunsets

I find them beautiful

because who's to ask why they're leaving

Who's to stop them?

Who's to call them a villain for leaving?

I find sunsets beautiful

I find endings beautiful

For whom do they owe answers?

They just happen

Happen to leave…