Clashing Identities

Roshnii Nathani

SYBA

2020-21

Around once in two months I wake up to the smell of my mom cooking Sindhi Kadhi in the kitchen. It is a very popular Sindhi dish that contains a mixture of potatoes, drumsticks, okra, arbi and spices in a besan based curry. It truly is a reflection of Sindhi culture where brotherhood is a key element.  Growing up, I didn’t really practice/ know much about Sindhi culture, the only connection that I felt was because of my surname and Sindhi food (which happens to be delicious). In my childhood, I stayed with my father’s side of the family for a few years in Ulhasnagar, which happens to be the hotspot of the Sindhi community in Mumbai. I've always known Sindhis as fun-loving, friendly,  loud and smart people who value their community and take pride in it; real sanguine personalities.  Ulhasnagar has managed to preserve the essence of the Sindhi culture through 2 main elements- food and fashion. 

Food and fashion are an integral part of Sindhi culture. Sindhi food mainly consists of rich spices like ginger, garlic, garam masala, clove, black pepper, curry leaves, elaichi, etc. The food is typically paired with papad, curd and fryums. Ulhasnagar being a Sindhi hub consists of a lot of food stalls that often mix items from several cuisines to make new and unique dishes and make them available to the general public at a low cost, often in the form of street food. I distinctly remember experimenting with items like chocolate dosa, thick shake, ice cream soda, popcorn shake, etc in my childhood whereas these things came into the mainstream much later. These innovations could be a result of the natural so-called “business minded-ness” of Sindhis that are always looking for business opportunities or their simple love for food. The same goes for fashion. It is common  in Ulhasnagar to see showrooms of big brands (or get very cheap but quality knock-offs of big brands) like Louis Vuitton, Tommy Hilfiger, Zara, Nike, Bose, etc. It is a true capitalist environment where trends are constantly changing. Considering the high rate of consumption by consumers, there are a lot of factories in and near Ulhasnagar that produce goods ranging from electronics to textiles to items of daily use. Most people are involved in family-owned businesses, however, computer science is becoming a popular field too, after commerce. I must give some history of Hindu Sindhis to provide context for my unique family situation.

Hindu Sindhis are a small community that migrated to India from the Sindh region during the partition. Originally, Sindhis were mainly a Hindu community that had caste distinction on the basis of their native land and occupation. They would use middle names such as Hyderabadi, Shikhapuri Chhapru, etc that pointed towards a loose caste-like system or “zaats”. The traits and occupations of people were often related to their zaat, like Thakurs were the Brahman equivalent of the Sindhi community, direct descendants of Lord Jhulelal, Amils were the hindu Kshatriyas who mainly worked as accountants, Lohanas were also a Kshatriya group who were mainly engaged in trading and business. Hence, a relationship can be noticed between their zaat,  place of birth and occupation. People typically followed endogamy in order to avoid “loss of culture” as these small zaats usually all had their own set of culture and traditions unique to them. However, only a small portion of Hindu Sindhis remained, due to conversions and invasion by foreign rulers. These Hindu Sindhis were typically rural and non- mercantile, and were forced to migrate to India during partition. 

Since native land and occupation were such a huge part of a Sindhi’s identity, migration directly meant loss of culture in a sense. There are numerous zaats in Sindhis with their own hierarchical glory, however zaats are not really in practice amongst Hindu Sindhis anymore. A much more prominent practice now is of “nukhs” or “family name”. Typically, these nukhs are the names of one’s grandfather with the added suffix “-ani” (ex- my surname is Nathani and my great grandfather's name was Narayan Nath). A family with their common ancestral name came to be known as “kul”, that typically lived in the same house as a joint family. Hence, it can be noticed that the bond within a family was extremely crucial- this can be attributed to the fact that businesses were run by families together and ownership was typically passed down to the next generation through the sons.

Growing up, I didn’t get to spend much time with the Sindhi side of my family. My family left the ancestral home and moved to Mumbai so that my parents could be closer to their jobs and provide us with better opportunities. It is not common in Sindhis to move away from their extended family. However, I don’t think our relatives were surprised. As mentioned earlier, endogamy is a very important feature of the Sindhi community, especially in Hindu Sindhis, considering that we are a very small ratio of the population in India. Hindu Sindhis, in the past few decades since the partition, have been actively focusing on “reviving” their culture, passing it on to the youth, and trying to fill the shoes of their glorious ancestors who were wrongfully converted or forced to abandon their homeland. Of course, all this directly translates to marrying within the community, if not their zaat. My father is the only Sindhi that I know of who married outside the community. I won't say that everyone happily accepted it and moved on. There were, and continue to be, major things that have shaped my life as being sort of the “outcasts” of the kul, which eventually made us move away. 

Being a mixed caste family, we were often treated a little differently. I didn’t have enough exposure from either of my parents’ families (my mother is from Delhi and her entire family lives mostly in Delhi) to adopt either of the cultures. As I grew up, my mother and I often felt this pressure to prove ourselves as a part of my father’s family. The cognitive dissonance that our relatives faced was visible- they loved my father and his family, but this goes against their traditions and expectations- what is more important in such a case? This often resulted in my mother overcompensating by always doing a little extra at any family function, festivals, etc. It meant that she had to be a part of rituals that she didn’t like to be a part of, had to be overly nice to distant relatives to win their approval, had to adjust according  to my father's culture in terms of her daily life like food and clothing, etc. My parents had to fight a lot to convince my grandparents for their marriage but sadly, the differences are still present. 

I can't say that the traditions around marriage are shifting in current times- Sindhis still mostly prefer preserving their culture and marrying within the community. However, other than this strict rule, Sindhis are very dynamic and adaptive. Many Sindhis have now started moving out of their family homes, living in nuclear families, and even moving abroad. Taking up jobs instead of running family business is also being normalised in the community. The community is not particularly left leaning in their ideologies due to their strong sense of community and tradition, but this is also slowly changing when it comes to the youth. Personally, being from two vastly different communities has been a distressing experience for me. I have great admiration for both my parents’ cultures but I wouldn’t call either of those cultures my own. This does make me feel a little out of place at times, but I think it also allows me to  broaden my horizons and explore paths that I wouldn't have otherwise. I hope that this essay helps in understanding that inter-community marriage is not really a clash or mixture of two cultures but rather a completely new culture of its own. 

References 

Maclean, D. (1989). Religion and society in Arab Sind. Leiden: E.J. Brill.

Menus, D., Menus, I., Kadhi, S., Kadhi, S., & kadhi, F. (2020). Sindhi Kadhi recipe, Sindhi Kadhi Chawal. Retrieved 3 October 2020, from https://www.tarladalal.com/Sindhi-Kadhi-4359r 

Sindhishaan - Caste System. (2020). Retrieved 3 October 2020, from http://www.sindhishaan.com/article/culture/cult_12_04.html 

Sindhishaan - Whats in Name. (2020). Retrieved 30 September 2020, from http://www.sindhishaan.com/article/history/hist_01_02c.html