Of an Unorthodox Emancipation
Following the second world war, the Satmar Hasidic group was re-established in New York by Holocaust survivors who now took to an extreme form of piety to avoid punishment from God. Characterised by a total rejection of modern culture, and anti-Zionism, Satmar is one of the largest Hasidic communities in the world. With the holocaust identified as the key driving force and binding factor, the Hasidim that live today are an entire community built on survivors. They belong to the six million lost, and the community’s entire existence is shadowed by their memory.
Their rigid and exclusionary practices such as the banning of modern technology, Torah learning and limited secular education, the separation of the sexes, arranged marriages within the community, and uncompromising gender roles arise from their attempt at maintaining their roots, for they believe this is the only way they can avoid God’s wrath and survive.
In keeping with Hasidic tradition, men and women are rarely seen in the same, or even overlapping spheres. The main responsibility of a Satmar woman is to serve as an agent of the ultra orthodox faith. Their only role is to give birth, be good mothers and responsible wives. While modern orthodox Jews may be more flexible, the Satmar settled in Williamsburg have to subscribe to extremely strict rules for getting dressed. Women cannot show their collarbones, elbows and knees, for they must do everything in their power to keep men from sinning. Once married, women must cover or shave their heads. They are neither permitted to sing in front of men nor can they engage in any other recreational activities when around men.
For most of us, all that happens in our house as we grow up is normal. While normal for you and me might look like interacting with different people everyday, seeing both your parents go to work, surfing the internet and having access to all the resources that you want. “Normal” for the Satmar Hasidim is quite out of the ordinary in comparison. Considering how privileged and informed most of us are, it is hard to imagine a woman in a religious orthodox setting as being “empowered”. And even though this might be their normal, it still is oppressive and highly patriarchal. There exists no standard for comparison and this either goes on to further solidify their belief in the religion, or makes them long for a more equitable, independent and flexible life that they can only imagine.
Although it seems impossibly difficult to let go of something that has been indoctrinated into oneself since childhood, there do exist people who questioned the system, and in spite of being disowned by their families (as in most cases), went on to create happier and more fulfilling lives for themselves away from their Hasidic roots. Deborah Feldman, who could once only dream of smartphones and pretty dresses, broke away from her religion in 2006. She later went on to write a memoir called ‘Unorthodox: The Scandalous Rejection of My Hasidic Roots’, wherein she documented her life in an ultra orthodox community based in Williamsburg, Brooklyn. Born in the Satmar sect of Hasids, her life was governed by rigid rules dictating what to wear, eat and read. Her move away from the community began when she started sneaking in English books which opened her up to a whole new world of possibilities. Married off at the age of seventeen, with no sex education, no room to express individuality and constant pressure to give birth, Feldman boldly decided to escape- while she was pregnant.
Those with the gall to break out of the community are expected to slink away in silence, to disappear into the netherworld of mainstream society. Especially if the rebel is a woman. It is easier for men to find the means and independence to slip through the cracks in Hasidic society. Women are quickly tied down, made financially and emotionally dependent upon men and are rarely faced with opportunities to explore the outside world (Feldman, 2010).
Loosely based on Feldman’s book, the limited Netflix series “Unorthodox” follows the life of nineteen year old Esther ‘Esty’ Shapiro, who leaves her husband Yanky in search of a better life outside of Williamsburg. Life as an ultra-orthodox woman is all she has known, and loved. However, due to various factors explored through the mini series, Esty desperately decides to flee to Berlin, where her ex-Hasid mother lives. Unsure of what she’s seeking, and with no knowledge of how to steer through this radically different world she now found herself in, Esty tries her best to blend in. However, the moment her family finds out she is pregnant and gone, they immediately send Yanky and his cousin Moishe after her- not for her.
The series travels across two timelines. One narrates her new life in Berlin, where she falls in with a group of musicians, and the other recounts her life as Esther Shapiro- wife of Yanky Shapiro. Though from New York, as Samtar Hasidic their first language is Yiddish. Thus the show switches between Yiddish to English to German. Unorthodox, much to its credit, does not portray anybody as the “bad guy” here. It’s a portrayal of a religious group of people, all of them doing what they believe is right. It is nuanced in ways that force its viewers to acknowledge their position of privilege and before questioning a faith, to take note of how everybody’s normal is different.
Esty’s break from the community that raised her is not sensationalised as a total rejection of her faith. Her character is powerful, symbolic of all those oppressed and is not, as is too often the case in drama, portrayed as wild and off the rails. Esty’s story is relatable to many others who come from rigid social structures, suffer from stringent norms and who yearn for change. Through glimpses of her past, we realise that while she never expressed it, she was never really at home within her community. Religion, particularly in ultra-orthodox, tight-knit communities, shapes every aspect of its people’s lives, and it cannot be entirely easy for somebody to simply let go. Unorthodox respects that, and gives Esty’s character space to explore and learn once she reaches Berlin. On her quest to find herself, Esty starts to understand that it is irrational to identify an individual or a culture by their past. Her perspective might first make viewers question the ease with which Berliners talked about the historical atrocities associated with the city. However, the show emphasises how this generation has come to redefine Berlin based on its diversity and ability to change, and rightly so. Esty’s life in Berlin is contrasting to the seemingly suffocating life she lived in Williamsburg. Shira Haas gives an incredibly controlled and intimate delivery of Esther’s internal conflicts. Her expressions, and subdued, yet graceful movements give life to her character’s struggles and enable the audience to automatically be protective of her. Thanks to her stunning performance, Unorthodox successfully manages to narrate the story of a woman’s emancipation and her journey of self-discovery. The dichotomy portrayed between tradition and modernity encourages viewers to question gender and power dynamics not only within the Satmar community but also in their own social circles.
As the story progresses, the reasons she had to leave begin to unravel. A failing, childless marriage and the constant pressure to live up to unrealistic standards naturally lead her to wanting out. Esty says, “God expected too much of me. Now I need to find my own path.”
The juxtaposition of her past life and the present day scenario helps viewers empathize with Esty and understand why she HAD to leave. Berlin is a significant destination in relation to her community’s history. Thus, it also gives the show a new arc, wherein Esty tries to leave behind the horrors of her past in the very place that birthed those horrors. Her visit to the lake in Berlin is a significant point in the show. While standing in the water, Esty takes off her wig thus exposing her shaved head. This symbolically represents her liberation from the shackles of her ultra-orthodox origin, and marks the beginning of her now paving her own path. The scene also first introduces its viewers to the idea that married Hasidic women have to shave or cover their heads, thus also raising important questions regarding individuality and agency over one’s own life. Who is Esty outside her community? Does she successfully manage to overcome culture shock and survive?
The central conflict of Esty’s life is magnificently captured by Haas’s performance. The constant contradiction between her desire to truly belong in this culture that she has always called her own and her unconscious attraction towards autonomy gives her character a fascinating arc. Finally, she is not willing to give in to her fate as a “good wife” whose only role is to give birth. It is also interesting to see how Esty despises her mother for rejecting her faith and wanting to be independent, while she herself is rebelling against these rigid conventions that dictate all aspects of her social and personal life.
Marriage is something that is seen as a turning point in a woman’s life. Esty’s grandmother affirms that, “Your marriage will mark the beginning of a new life.”. She hoped for marriage to change things, but evidently realised that it wouldn’t. This new life actually comes with additional expectations that continue to endorse the patriarchy. Traditional rules also apply to menstruation and pregnancy. Before her wedding, Esther is “trained” by a woman who seems to be a sexual intercourse specialist, but according to Hasidic rules. Esty is given tips and tricks on how to behave in bed, and is told that “men are givers, women are receivers.”. She is to treat Yanky like a “king” in bed. A woman’s satisfaction or preferences are therefore totally out of the question. Further, she is told that while menstruating, the husband and wife must not sleep in the same bed, for she is “dirty”. Before approaching the husband after the menstrual period ends, she must perform “mikvah”- a special bathing ritual. A woman is seen as “defective” if she is unable to produce babies. Seeing and treating women as “baby machines” is something that is prevalent not just within this community but also in various other cultures, which brings in several moral and humanitarian connotations. Such objectification and stigmatization portrays how the norms of the Satmar Hasidic can be highly masculinised.
Being in Berlin allows Esther to crawl out of her shell, and explore herself, as well as the world. Especially in the third and fourth episodes, she is no longer the timid woman she once was. She gets the space to try out new things- from lipstick to dressing up to going clubbing. Although it must have required a lot of courage to accommodate herself in a whole new world brimming with opportunities, she tries her best to respect diversity and settle in. She challenges the patriarchal norms of her community, and overcomes the misogyny that held her back. It is inspiring to see Esty grow stronger and open herself to new opportunities. Unorthodox sheds light on the fact that humans are inherently capable of change and adapting themselves to ideas that were once alien to them.
The final few scenes of the mini series further explore the position of a woman in the Hasidic community. Yanky and Moishe are here for the baby, and even though she might refuse to go back now, they threaten her that they will come back for the child. The sense of collective possession of the baby and indirectly of Esty herself is what makes them seek her.
Her journey culminates at the prestigious music academy where she is desperately seeking a scholarship. During her audition, her riveting performance of “Mi Bon Siach”- the song first performed by the men at her wedding- in front of her husband Yanky, friends, mother and a board of judges marks the most important turn in her narrative. This scene is where she quite literally gains her own voice. It’s about her reclaiming the song for herself, for she is now using it to detach herself from a tradition that was only stealing her crown. It was an intimate and powerful moment wherein Esty, who wasn't allowed by her community to sing, now performed a tune traditionally sung by men.
The series ends with a shot of Esty and her new musician friends. It is left up to the audience to decide whether or not she successfully manages to disengage from the Satmar community and live her new life to the fullest.
Unorthodox, though criticised for twisting some traditions for popularity, is indeed a successful shot at depicting life as a Hasidic woman. After all, it is not a documentary but a subjective account of one person’s experience. Made in consultation with Deborah Feldman, and a Yiddish translator to depict community life as accurately as possible, it substantially contributes to the Feminist movement.
The show reveals how gender norms are social constructions and how they can go on to obstruct one’s sense of individuality and freedom. It challenges misconceptions and further makes its viewers question the persistence of gender inequality and the systemic oppression of women in the broader sense and outside of any particular culture. It makes the audience think, and I believe that is an achievement in itself.
Is it not irrational to deny a woman agency over her own body in the name of “religion”? Shouldn’t the men take accountability for their behaviour, instead of prescribing a “modest” dress code for women? Is a woman’s body only meant for male gratification? Despite it being the twenty-first century, and while I do not mean to disrespect a religion, how do these people seem so stuck?
Art and media not only help raise public awareness but also with their broad impact, help shatter cultural stereotypes regarding how men and women must behave. Unorthodox, viewed from a feminist lens, is an inspiring story of female empowerment, hope and courage, and contributes to the idea of embracing diversity.
References
Deborah Feldman. (n.d.). Retrieved September 21, 2021, from http://www.deborahfeldman.com/unorthodox.php.
Feldman, D. (2010, August 28). Once upon a Life: Deborah Feldman. The Guardian. Retrieved September 21, 2021, from https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2010/aug/29/deborah-feldman-hasidic-once-upon-a-life.
FREE MOVIES. (2018, February 13). Unorthodox (FULL MOVIE) [Video]. YouTube. https://youtu.be/lb_uwSN9L3k
Inzunza, V. M. (2016, May 6). Anthropologist Studies Socialization of Girls in Orthodox Jewish Community. Fordham News. Retrieved September 21, 2021, from https://news.fordham.edu/inside-fordham/anthropologist-studies-socialization-of-girls-in-orthodox-jewish-community/.
Nir, S. M. (2018, September 19). A Glimpse Inside the Hidden World of Hasidic women. The New York Times. Retrieved September 21, 2021, from https://www.nytimes.com/2018/09/19/nyregion/a-glimpse-inside-the-hidden-world-of-hasidic-women.html?auth=link-dismiss-google1tap.
Planas-Arteaga, S. (2020, June 2). Unorthodox: The Best Quotes from the Incredible Netflix series. ScreenRant. Retrieved September 21, 2021, from https://screenrant.com/unorthodox-the-best-quotes-from-the-incredible-netflix-series/.
Staff, F. (2020, May 4). Your questions ABOUT "Unorthodox" and Leaving Hasidic Communities, answered. The Forward. Retrieved September 21, 2021, from https://forward.com/culture/445527/your-questions-about-unorthodox-and-leaving-hasidic-communities-answered/.
Wilkinson, A. (2020, March 26). Netflix's unorthodox Movingly captures the pain and power of leaving a strict religious community. Vox. Retrieved September 21, 2021, from https://www.vox.com/culture/2020/3/26/21193180/unorthodox-netflix-streaming-series-review.
Winger, A. (2020, March 26). Unorthodox [TV Mini Series]. whole, Netflix.
Image Credit
Scene from Netflix’s Unorthodox (2020). Retrieved September28, 2021, from https://jwa.org/blog/unorthodox-good-jews
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